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Henley Cares - Uncle Dan Talks Mine Safety

Posted by dunkelza , 08 March 2015 · 1,184 views

Lore Dump Mining Life On Earth Henley Resources Blue Collar
Hi there, folks. I’m “Uncle” Dan McGee of the Durango Daggers. I came by today because “Grandpa” Joe Henley asked me to talk with y’all about safe recycling. That’s what you do, folks- you’re “recyclers”, not “dump miners” or “trash pickers”. Don’t let any of those lazy screen snobs call you names…

You’re all hard-working, red-blooded heroes in my book! When you go down into the mines, you bring back the stuff that helps us all live and work in peace. If you think about it, we do the same job, you and me- we help people by finding raw materials the world needs to rebuild and be happy.

Okay… Sure, I got a spaceship… Ho-ho! …and plasma missiles. But both of us face danger every day on the job. For me, that might be a laser blast or a proximity bomb, but in the recycling mines danger hides in plain sight. Take a look over here…

Do you see that rusty tube? My buddy “Ranger” Paul is about to harvest it. It looks like a valuable piece of iron pipe, so he pries it out of the wall, and…


Yeah, luckily Paul didn’t get hurt that time, but that gas canister could’ve cut him real bad. Worse, it could’ve had some kinda fuel in it. Sparks from prying it out might’ve lit it off, then he’d have been doing the “I’m on fire” dance! Ho-ho!

Let’s see how Paul should’ve recycled that cylinder. Notice how he’s cutting into the debris around the tube? He’s never prying on the tube itself. You can also see how this time he’s wearing the gloves, mask, and goggles that Grandpa Joe and the Henley Family provide to all of their freelance recycling technicians. Don’t forget your Henley helmet, Paul! There you go!

So, why does Henley Family give out all this safety gear? Well, unlike some companies, the Henleys know it’s better to keep people healthy. Healthy people contribute to a healthy community, and to a healthy bottom line. Sure, living off the land is a tough job, but Henley respects folks who do it- and so do I!

Some OTHER corporations think they can make money off of sick people. Well, you, me, and the Henleys know that when people get hurt on the job or get sick, they can’t work. People who can’t work don’t have a lot of money, right? Isn’t it better to have customers who are strong and healthy, who can earn an honest living doing honest work?

Well, that’s YOU my friends! You’re MY heroes!

So here’s what I want you to do: Go down to your nearest Salvage Station or Salvage Shack and pick up a FREE, limited-edition Durango Daggers safety kit, courtesy of the Henley Family. Just bring in at least five kilos of iron, steel, copper, or aluminum- they’ll pay you for the metal and give you the kit- FREE! One kit per person, mind.

Inside, you’ll find a helmet, gloves, goggles, and a mask. You’ll also get a free, action-packed vid with me and my friend “Ranger” Paul showing you great mining safety tips- both in space and here on Earth!

I’m Uncle Dan, thanks for listening. Fly hard, my friends. Fly hard!

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{LIBERETE NODE FA01:231D:EA01:CC42-0913:B238:7172:A016 ONLINE AT 23140821.013441.C}

{LivesUnderBridge 23140821.013441.C} Check this out- it’s an old Henley “public service” vid from the Fifties! {((FILE ATTACH))} Man, this carp’s just hokey! Did anyone believe this garbage, or were people just stupid back then? {EOP}

{RenardGoupil 23140821.014623.Q} I think that PSA was from 2258, right before “Uncle Dan” bought it. Sorry umfaka had it coming, lousy corporate shill! {EOC}

{MrSmith23 23140821.014805.T} Uncle Dan might have been a shill, but he was one of the good ones. I’ve been working on a vid about his life… and death. There’s a lot to suggest that he was a Civ back when they first started putting people on trial for it. That’s why they killed him, you know. Here, look at this vid of his ship blowing up: {((LINK))} Do you notice how the missile never even hits him? There’s no shrapnel damage, nothing. Just a split-second delay and *POW!* he blows up. It was a setup. Oh, and thanks for posting this, Lives! I’ve been trying to find a copy of this for my vid. {EOC}

{DurangoFan42 23140821.023054.H} Uncle Dan was a hero! You guys shart! {EOC}

{IllWind2125 23140821.024740.E} I’ve heard that his death was one of the reasons that the corps started talking about switching to drones. Not that they cared about his sorry sack, but think about how much merchandising must’ve been built around him. One explosion and a few billion bucks down the comper! Of course, they had real, government money back then- not the Zilch we’ve got now. That must’ve really pished off the shareholders! {EOC}


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