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Encyclopedia Gallica - Parker's Law

Posted by dunkelza , 02 February 2015 · 1,291 views

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This Encyclopedia Gallica historical moment brought to you by Daeng Pla Crimson Crisps.

Daeng Pla reminds you- don’t turn red with embarrassment when guests arrive, serve Daeng Pla Crimson Crisps for happy houseguests!

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The Joint Mining Laser Limitation Agreement of 2231, better known as “Parker’s Law”, ended six bloody years of conflict called the Bab-el-Mandeb War. The nickname refers to the death of Parker Iskender, the only child of Aksum founder and CEO, Robert Iskender. Historians differ on the exact cause of the war, though it is clear that Parker’s death in an asteroid prospecting accident was a precipitating factor.

Recently graduated from Harvard’s business school in Havana, the younger Iskender refused a desk job at his father’s firm, preferring instead to join the asteroid prospecting startup LyngbRum. His parentage and aggressiveness earned him rapid promotions and he was soon posted as Operations Manager aboard the mining platform Perkredes. While competively mining the asteroid 2071 Bab-el-Mandeb, Perkredes suffered catastrophic hull rupture after the rock shattered on February 2, 2225.

Robert Iskender blamed his son’s death on LyngbRum’s allegedly-flawed mining practices. LyngbRum blamed its competitor Isuta for dangerously undermining the asteroid’s structure. Isuta blamed LyngbRum’s use of Gallium-Xenon lasers made by Luminon, a division of TLS. As the recriminations mounted, more than 23 major corporations became involved in lawsuits and countersuits. Iskender grew increasingly frustrated by the ineffectiveness of the outmoded legal systems of the time. On April 6th, he took his revenge.

Early that morning, private military contractors employed by Aksum International destroyed a LyngbRum warehouse near the Dadaab space elevator, causing the loss of 15 lives and more than €35,000,000 worth of raw materials, many owned by Brindle Cat, a division of Parthenorbital. Two days later, forces employed by Brindle Cat attacked a cruise ship, assassinating Aksum’s VP of Marketing and wounding the daughter of a Torchlight board member.

Within two months, most of the world’s major corporations were engaged in the war. Conflict occurred on every continent, in orbit around Earth, the Moon, and Mars, as well as in the Asteroid Belt. By the time that Parker’s Law ended the conflict on February 5, 2231 (nearly six years to the day), more than 132,000 lives had been lost.

When the CPIA published their second-edition sportsmanship standards in 2254, they further broadened the mining laser restrictions imposed under Parker’s Law. Though the 2260 GHRA removed human pilots from combat prospecting altogether, CPIA rules still limit the types and power levels of mining lasers. As a result, some rock types are not easily mined during CPIA matches and can only be harvested later by long-term extraction teams.

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{LIBERETE NODE A0C2:12F5:98BE:0918-4BAA:3124:15D3:CE01 ONLINE AT 23150912.142321.H}

{Grenadier21 23150912.142321.H} Do you believe this pakshet? {((FILE ATTACH))} Parker’s Law isn’t a LAW, it’s a contract! No government enforces it, no legislature voted on it- it’s a kaafam corporate contract! I can’t believe they are trying to sell it to us like it’s some kind of godsend. {EOP}

{PortioAngelus 23150912.142432.D} Yes, we know it’s just a contract, Gren- that’s why we’re Civs. If you really want to flip out, focus on the BIG lie. They left a few zeros off of the death toll from the BEM War. I’ve got firsthand accounts reporting that many deaths in one battle alone! Check it out- {((LINK))} {EOC}

{Fenario 23150912.142632.Z} The sad thing is that this whole war was about one stupid kid killing his whole crew by mining faster than his foreman told him was safe! Have you read the logs? {((LINK))} Parker’s cabaro of a father couldn’t admit that his son was a headstrong dinkus who should never have been in charge of a mining barge. {EOC}

{NODE DISABLED - UCIA ACCESS DETECTED}

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Love it !

WM

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Renegade-Shank
Feb 03 2015 05:03 PM

Great Stuff!

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Very professional use and creation of Lore! Also very realistic use of "pseudo sci-fi science". I especially loved the immersive touch of the created slang used.  Please keep up the great work!

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